WOW...it has been quite a long while since my last post. YIKES!!
Something happened to me today that I"m still pretty shocked over. No, I didn't get another speeding ticket, no, I didn't find a cure for MD. What happened....well here is the story.
I went to the University of Iowa and studied Clarinet Performance with Dr. Maurita Murphy Mead. I started there in the fall of 1993 and graduated with a Bachelor of Music degree in 1998, 5 years of my life devoted to learning how to play and teach the clarinet and the various band instruments. 3.5 years of 1 hour private lessons with Dr. Mead, 1.5 years of 1 hour private lessons with a graduate student. (now, that is an entirely different story) In all that time, I'm not sure I remember her ever saying "good job, congratulations or I'm proud of you". If she did say it, I have either blocked it from my memory or couldn't hear her through my sobs.
I wasn't a very good practicer, the time I spent in the practice room was pretty slim and usually concentrated to just before a jury or the day before my lesson. Dr. Mead set out a plan for every one of her students to practice 4-5 hours a day. I believe I was more interested in my social life than spending that amount of time in the practice room. I would say probably 50% of my lesson time was spent in tears because I didn't practice enough, I didn't show enough progress or I disappointed Dr. Mead. Personally, I couldn't stand disappointing anyone, especially her. I'm really not the only one who felt this. Almost every clarinet student in the studio felt this way. Some chose to accept it and buckle down and practice, some chose to accept it and go on and a few others chose not to accept it and transferred to another school. I was one who accepted it and just went on to get a degree.
While in college, I felt that this was pure hell. I thought she was the devil and wanted too much out of me as a player. I came to think of my lessons with her as necessary evils and I was ALWAYS nervous about my lessons! Of course, I didn't have the benefit of hindsight at the time. I didn't really look at the bigger picture. I didn't have the experience to appreciate all the nuggets of wisdom that were being bestowed upon me, either directly or indirectly.
Today has proved me wrong. My senior private student had an opportunity to play for Dr. Mead to be admitted to the clarinet studio next fall. I'm still not sure who was more nervous, my student or me. I joked with my student's band director that she looked like she would throw up any minute, but in reality...I felt as though I would throw up at any minute. My student shined! She played very well and Dr. Mead accepted her on the spot! What an accomplishment for my student! I was very proud of and for her this morning.
After the audition, Dr. Mead was very complimentary of my teaching. She was very impressed with the amount of clarinet concepts that my student was playing with and was happy that I had taught her these concepts. I think she hugged me 15 times, and actually told me she was proud of me. It took me a while to process what had happened! It wasn't until 1/2 hour later did it actually sink in! My first thought was, why didn't you say that to me in college...everything would have been different. But now, with benefit of experience, hindsight and time, I really think she has always been proud.
This is what I learned today....
1-The past is in the past, you should leave it there.
2-Teachers always have their student's best interests at heart, no matter what the level.
3-Sometimes you have to think about what you have learned, not how you feel about a situation.
4-You don't know what you have learned until you have the opportunity to teach it.
5-Sometimes it is OK to expect more out of a person than they think they can give.
6-You should always be honest with people., especially when you are teaching. If someone needs to practice more, tell them. If someone has done a good job, tell them.
7-Don't take anything personally!
In the end, no matter what my friends from college say, I cherish my time at the University of Iowa, It taught me perseverance, how to make myself happy, and most of all...believe in myself. That is what I wish for my student. I hope she gains the knowledge and wisdom that I did while there.
Actually, I just hope that she survives her lessons!!
